The harsh reality.
You meet someone you are attracted to. You wouldn’t mind getting to know them better. But you know they’ve probably “talked” to more interesting people than yourself. So now you feel intimidated…like you don’t even have the slightest chance of anything with this person. That feeling sucks.
Nightmares.
I don’t know how to say it anymore but I’m scared.
Lately for about a few weeks, I’ve been randomly daydreaming and it’s not the good kind where you’re thinking of your significant other and yourself. It’s horrible. Every single possibility that I can think of, to every little detail, I see myself dying. I’m not even suicidal anymore. It’s been a long time since I was but I have no idea why this is happening. I don’t want to see it. Walking into a restaurant and something explodes in a knife impales me. Taking a jog down the road and I get mauled by a wild bear. Singing in the shower and I trip and bust my head. Driving and a bird hits my windshield and I freak out and crash. Eating and a sharp bone cuts open my esophagus. Swimming in the pool and the filter sucks me under and I drown. Swinging on the swings and the chain breaks so I fly off and land on my neck. Walking through a crowded area and I trip and get trampled. So much more. So many. I feel like it’s a sign. But that’s insane isn’t it? And I see them over and over and over again even in my happiest moments now. At night the nightmares replay themselves like a self-torturing method. I can’t bear it. Please someone make it stop.
